Epiphany
by MoonlightSpirit
Summary: After Zuko returns to the Fire Nation, he has everything he ever wanted, but it doesn't make him happy. Zuko knows something isn't right. And then it hits him. He's slowly becoming his father, the ruthless Fire Lord Ozai. Songfic to 'Numb' by Linkin Park.


**This song is so Zuko, I just had to do a songfic with it. The song is **_**Numb **_**by Linkin Park. And yes, there's a teeny-weeny microscopic bit of Zutara in here. I don't even know how it got there o.0 So here's **_**Epiphany**_**. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender or the song** **_Numb_.**

Did you ever have everything you wanted, but still weren't happy? That was the story of Prince Zuko after he returned to the fire nation after the fall of the Avatar. Zuko had everything he ever wanted. His title, his honor, a beautiful girlfriend, his father's love. But somehow, it wasn't enough. It didn't feel right. Zuko couldn't help the nagging guilt twisting in his gut, couldn't the look of pure hurt in the waterbender's eyes when he betrayed her. It was because of him that her pretty face was twisted into a look he couldn't forget.

Then came that all day war meeting that changed everything. His father, Fire Lord Ozai, revealed his plan of burning down the Earth Kingdom and Zuko felt his stomach plummet. All the people that would be killed. Lee and his mother and father, Jin, Song and her grandmother, that small newborn baby he and his uncle had seen on the train to Ba Sing Se. Zuko wanted to speak out. Tell his father that he would be killing so many innocent people, not that his father could care, but still...

Zuko maintained his image of the perfect son during the meeting, staying silent. Just like his father wanted. But Zuko was tired of it. Tired of staying silent, unable to say what he thought. But who would listen to him. How could he have faith that someone would listen when he was surrounded by people obsessed with money, position and power?

_Tired of being what you want me to be_

_Feeling so faithless_

_Lost under the surface_

Zuko didn't exactly know what his father expected of him. To be quiet? To be his little puppet? To follow in his shoes as the next Fire Lord of a war torn world?

_Don't know what you're expecting of me_

_Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes_

_(Caught in the under toe, just caught in the under toe)_

There was a time that every step Zuko took was wrong in his father's eyes. Because he didn't follow the path is father wanted him to.

_  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_(Caught in the under toe, just caught in the under toe)_

Maintaining the image of the perfect son had drained Zuko of every feeling. Now, he was just numb, not feeling anything, but that one twinge of guilt at hearing his father's plan to burn the Earth Kingdom.

_I've become so numb_

Even his girlfriend, Mai, had noticed Zuko's change. He wasn't as affectionate as usual. He even turned down a kiss from her. It was sometimes like he didn't even know she was there, standing right next to him.

_I can't feel you there_

But this was the night Zuko would right everything. He would join the Avatar and help stop this war. He was tired of pretending that everything was all right when it couldn't be more wrong. Zuko was actually glad he had returned to the Fire Nation. Because it made him aware of what was really happening. That everything he tried to deny was now staring him in the face.

_Become so tired, so much more aware_

But what disturbed Zuko the most was that he was becoming his father. He remembered how his father had acted when Azulon began to put stress on him to remain the perfect son. Zuko's father became distant and emotionless, even to Zuko's mother, Ursa. And that's what was happening now. Zuko was becoming distant, emotionless, and pushing Mai away. But Zuko _refused _to become his father. That would _**never** _happen.

_I'm becoming this, all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

Of course, Zuko's father tried to keep him controlled, but not in a way you would think. He gave Zuko everything and then some to the point of smothering him. He seemed to almost hover over Zuko even wen he wasn't around, like a dark cloud. Like he had a tight leash on Zuko, afraid to lose control of the son that could be his downfall. But even Ozai noticed that Zuko changed when he came back home to the Fire Nation. Ozai could see Zuko's resistance in his golden eyes. Everything Ozai wanted Zuko to be, a Fire Lord that would rule the world ruthlessly, was falling apart.

_Can't you see that you're smothering me?_

_Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control_

_'Cause everything that you thought I would be has fallen apart_

_Right in front of you_

_(Caught in the under toe, just caught in the under toe)_

_  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_(Caught in the under toe, just caught in the under toe)_

_  
And every second I waste is more than I can take_

Zuko wrote Mai a letter the night he left, apologizing for leaving suddenly, but not promising to come back. He could be killed by an assassin hired by his father in a minute. Zuko kept the letter emotionless, numb.

_I've become so numb_

_I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired, so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this, all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

Zuko knew he may fail. His father could send someone to kill him. The Avatar may not accept him- he had been chasing him for almost a year.

_And I know I may end up failing too_

But Zuko saw how he was slowly becoming his father and turned away from that path.

_But I know you were just like me when someone disappointed in you_

_I've become so numb_

_I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired, so much more aware_

_I'm becoming this, all I want to do_

_Is be more like me and be less like you_

_I've become so numb, I can't feel you there_

_(Tired of being what you want me to be)_

_I've become so numb, I can't feel you there_

_(Tired of being what you want me to be)_

Zuko's mother had always told him as a child, '_Never forget who you are_'. And for a while, Zuko had lost sight of who he was. But now, he knew his destiny. His own destiny. Not one created for him by his father. His destiny was to help the Avatar end this war. Zuko would help make things right again.

He would never, _ever _become his father.

**There's **_**Epiphany**_**! I liked how it came out. I noticed that when Zuko returned home in Season 3, he may have become what his father once was. Both Zuko and Ozai were pressured by their father's to become what their father's wanted them to be, pushing them away from their own destiny. Ozai didn't fight against his father, but Zuko did, which is why he finally came to his senses. I hope you liked this! Please Review!**


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